Truth Excuses

 Have you ever been around someone who "skirts around the truth"? They don't have the courage to speak or write the truth so they "skirt around the truth" and blame it on someone else. It is the person who plays the victim with the angry outburts and suffers from depression, even admits to it. Every bad thing in the world has happened to them. They are self-absorbed in a strange, negative way. Nothing is really their fault.

In one of my classes, we have been a personality construct that is termed as "Tendency for Interpersonal Victimhood" or TIV. TIV is defined as an "enduring feeling that the self is a victim across different kinds of interpersonal relationships" of which there are several core components, including:

Need for Recognition: I have an experience where a woman I know of has a high level of need for her victimization to be seen and recognized by others; social media, letters, telephone, emails, etc.

Moral Elitism: Seeing oneself as morally pure or "immaculate", and seeing those who oppose, criticize, or victimize oneself as completely immoral and unjust. The truth can be placed in front but it will be looked over and thrust away.

Lack of Empathy: In my experience with the same woman, she has little empathy or concern for the suffering of others because her victimhood is much greater than the suffering of others even at the annihilation of her own acts. This includes her dilated entitilement to act selfishly or harmfully towards others without recognizing their pain at her destruction.

Rumination: She has a tendency to brood and remain extremely fixated on times, ways, and relationships where she thinks she has experienced victimization and her fear of being taken advantage of. There is a tendency to recall the negative occurences in her life instead of the positive.

Individuals who were high in the tendency to see themselves as victims felt feelings of hurt more intensely, felt that hurt longer, and were more likely to recall that hurt at later times. They responded more strongly to negative stimuli. People who saw themselves as enduring victims were more likely to hold grudges, seek revenge, and to feel entitled to engage in immoral, destructive behaviors in order to punish others.

Truth will never be told, never be written, blame placed elsewhere, angry bantering, the innate social media posts, and the name throwing are all in an attempt to feel justified in 'truth' excuses for her actions. And life goes on ...