Monday, March 19, 2018

Courage in the Journey

There is a lot of advice floating around in recognizing, dealing with, and stopping cyber bullying.  All of the issues are important.  Healing is a process that is important as well.  It is important for our well being and in finding ways to avoid future exposure. 

A cyber bullying experience can take its toll on children, adults, and seniors.  It can cause devastation to a sense of self and personal morale.  Sadly, in the wide world of the internet, no one is exempt from cyber bullying.  It can cause mistrust and resistance to online interactions. 

Because of our online bully, I have been able to mark my courage.  It was not believed that I would take our case to court, teasing and taunting was daily bombardment from her.  Not only have we taken her on in one state, we are now moving forward in another state.  Daily manifestation of this movement forward is a daily confirmation that reminds me that I have risen above the nonsense and only becoming stronger because of the experience.  It is time to let go!  If I allow the feelings of anger and hate towards our cyber bully continue, she retains whatever power she feels that she has over us and in the end it will consume all of us, the cyber bully included.  Forgiveness frees us from the constant thoughts of revenge, hate or anger.  My ultimate victory as a survivor is that I will go one and not let this evil lady to bully my inner thoughts and feelings.

Bullies are cowardly and insecure.  Bullying is a way of coping with things in their own lives that are not working well for them.  In my case, the woman thought I am at fault for not allowing her to have the man that she really wanted and she had to move in with another man to care for herself.  Perhaps she has been a subject of abuse, has lost loved ones, feels dismissed and unwanted, suffering from mental illness, or lack of sleep.  Whatever the reason, it is not an excuse for cruel behavior towards another person.  We are trying to understand what makes her this way and in this thought of compassion, it has helped us to move on and to heal much faster.

This week has been filled with love, kindness, and success.  This is what happens when the efforts are turned from dwelling on the miserable and working in the wonderful.  Horse and cow babies were born, Toby successfully completed his fifth service dog lesson, hay was delivered, and my husband is feeling better and able to walk a bit more.  Tulips and daffodils are pushing through the dark earth in an effort to warm in the sun that comes and goes behind a snow cloud or two.  My work is going well, my book continues to surprise me, and a new semester at college is beginning.  My husband and I are taking a short vacation to see beautiful red cliffs and tall water falls.  These are the moments that don't include our bully, our stalker, and her threats and meaningless and stupid.  Caring responses fill the air and blessings of the experiences of others write the pages of our movement forward because I am ..

riding the dark horse ..

 Copyright © 2018 by CandaLeeParker,
All rights reserved. This blog or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review or similar cited with author's name and copyright and only with written permission of the author.

Wednesday, March 14, 2018

The Work Begins

Acceptance is like an antibiotic that prevents past rejections 
from turning into present-day infections ..

This week has been a week of blessings.  Letters have been written, answers have been received, and the movement forward is moving forward.  I had a long conversation with an assistant in the State prosecutor's office and was amazed at the information that I received.  We now have a platform to move forward with. 

Spring seems to be around the corner.  The snow has melted once again and the flower gardens were soft enough to till.  I am a color person so the yard will be filled with flowers of every kind and color.  The seed box is overflowing with wonders to be planted into the soft, dark earth.  Plants are amazing!  A single seed brings forth a sprawling plant which in turn scatters seeds for more plants to grow.  This is how we should be.  Instead of hate, harassment, and bullying, the seeds of gratitude, happiness, fulfillment, and kindness should be scattered across the four corners of the earth.  As it starts with a single plant, it starts with a single person.  "If you can't find a good person, then be one" .. This comes easy to some but the one rotten apple can spoil the whole barrel if not drawn out and thrown away.

I am excited to start the new deck, adding a Jacuzzi for tired bones, and the leveling to add the fire pit.  Thank you for a wonderful friend who has given us a monstrous fire pit for our summer activities.  Arena fencing delivered to begin our the building of our archery course. Movement forward from the evil, the hate, the drama, the accused, and the criticized.  If I am killed at her hand, my husband will be a very rich man as we have notified all law enforcement and attorneys that there will be a lawsuit as her actions have been reported for more than 5 years.  I believe now we are taken seriously.  In light of the school shootings and serial bombers, it has to be.

In this I ask God to bless her and give her abundance of mastery of her ministry, the one that she professes and is "licensed" for.  This is all that can be done as the damage has become a blessing rather than a curse.  My cause is moving forward in the positive and I am grateful to those who have come forward and given their stories.  The suffering will no longer be silent!

Saturday, March 3, 2018

Being an Adult Bully

 Bullies are a special breed of people.  Their aggression starts at an early age.  It takes a specific nature to start a fight, threaten, intimidate, and actively inflict pain on others.  A bully can cause a great deal of misery to others and its effects on victims last for decades, perhaps even for a lifetime.  The person hurt most by bullying is the bully herself and the negative effects increase over time.  Most bullies have a downward spiraling course through life, their behavior interfering with learning, friendships, work, intimate relationships, income, and mental health.  Bullies can turn into anti-social adults and are far more likely to be involved in child assault, domestic violence, and produce another generation of bullies.  A woman bully has a far more subtle and complex meanness as we have experiences in our family.

Today, a letter was mailed to a state prosecutor with accompanying documents.  An investigator from our county's sheriff department took the documents that were recently posted filled with physical harm and death threats.  My employment has become involved as threats are to be taken seriously.  I have hired a company to take negative items off the internet that a court directed our adult woman bully to take down and I will, again, file a civil suit for reimbursement costs when it is completed.  Lobbying has begun for strict consequences in regards to cyber bullying with a team of 9 persons to date.  With our negative energy from our bully there comes the positive.  We will build a defense for others that are or have experienced the same kind of abuse that we have struggled with for many years. 

To understand the behavior of bullies is to see how aggression is learned and how well the lesson is taken to heart.  The existence of bullies tells us that the social needs of us, as human beings, is hugely dismissed.  Our lives are meaningless and disposable.  Unfortunately, there is no exact definition of a bully with exception that each case involves a repeated pattern of repeated aggressive behavior with negative intent directed from one person to another.  The aggressive behavior is intended to cause distress and pain.  There seems to be a favorable attitude for domination and a sense of satisfaction of hurting others.   Dealing with a woman who is bullying and harassing our family and me, we have developed a resolve, persistent spirits, and in what used to embarrass and humiliate, we document and forward to those individuals trained to assist in such matters.  Her pitiful army is just that; pitiful and weak!  What is interesting is that her pitiful army uses her for their dirty work.  Because she is self-absorbed in her righteousness, she is clueless to these acts.  We find this amusing because ..

I ride the dark horse ..

 Copyright © 2018 by CandaLeeParker,
All rights reserved. This blog or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review or similar cited with author's name and copyright and only with written permission of the author.