The Fixation

Fixation is an obsessive interest in or feeling about someone or something.  We experience fixation every day by our cyber bully.  She is fixated on my life and me. 

When bullying occurs, people often place the blame on the victim.  Most of the time they falsely believe that if the victim of bullying were somehow different, then bullying wouldn't happen. Bullying is never the target's fault.  They do not need to change or be different in some way to avoid being bullies.  Change is always the bully's responsibility.

It can be true that there are some things that can help deter bullying like developing social skills and building self-esteem.  There is the harsh truth that anyone can become a victim of bullying.  There are a number of reasons why bullies target others. and I realize at this moment, none of the reason's are the victim's fault.  Our cyber publicly engages victim blaming and asserts that the victim is bullying her in some way.  Her pathology is humorous.

My woman cyber bully declares to the world that I deserve to be bullied even though she began this battle many years ago.  She has trouble empathizing with what I have experienced from her and declares her negative and annoying personality traits very well.  It is in her mindset to condone bullying and she has every reason to validate her bad behavior.

Many times people will point out what is wrong with the victim rather than recognizing that the real issue lies with the bully and her choices.  It took a court case and a judge to direct our bully that her choices were not good and she needed to take accountability for the hurt that she caused.  It was important for me to begin learning life skills that are important like resilience, perseverance, and assertiveness.  Our bully should have responsibility for her actions and abide by the court orders set in place.  She feels that she is above the authority of the law of the land.

Many people will blame the victim of physical bullying for the pain and suffering he endures because he may have done nothing to defend himself.  This type of thinking excuses the Bully's behavior.  Unfortunately, the same can happen if the victim defends himself.  I understand this dilemma because for years I did nothing to defend myself against my bully.  Only recently, I have taken a stand.  Of course, it has been met with opposition but did I think I would have anything less?   I am grateful to my bully for building in me courage, strength, and resilience against her nauseating attacks and feeble attempts to embarrass me!  The world is aware of my mistakes but it is all that she has to use against me and even still, it has no more use.  The court ruled against her and my support system found the truth about her.  She can do no more damage with exception of the death threats.  I have taken precautions and left instructions about who to question should something traumatic happen to me.

Mental illness no longer validates bad behavior.  There is no excuse for her teases and taunts.  I am not the one with the defect yet there is no minimizing what my experience has been and we are sure, will continue to be.  Take every precaution, keep log books, and records of the abuse.  In the long run, it will assistance in justice.

Copyright © 2019 By CandaLee Parker 

IRideTheDarkHorse.com

www.candaleewhittleparker.com 

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