I Ride The Dark Horse: February 2017

Tuesday, February 14, 2017

A Valentine Tribute to My Phenomenal Husband ..

I have been married to my best friend for 18 years. He is the love of my life and the last 4 years have become the best years yet! I am thankful to have time with him despite dealing with his critical illness. Over the past two years, we have nearly lost him to Heaven four times. His courage and strength is incredible.

I love his steady, happy self, despite not feeling good most of the day and night. He values my opinions and my decisions. He supports me in so many ways; shows enthusiasm, compliments and congratulates, smiles and laughs with me and he knows that I will be there for him until the end. He spends a good part of his day sleeping and attempts to do what he can the rest of the day. Despite times of barely able to get out of bed, I find my car started and warm. I come home to a warm supper and smiles!

He is an affectionate man, giving hugs, kisses, and sweet words because that it his love language. I love to find his love notes in my lunch, on my mirror, or in my car. In the evening while I am dealing with my homework, he makes sure that I have ice water and snacks to carry me through. Nightly, he sits to "de-brief" with me devoting his time to talk to me and listen to how my day went. He is always great at being in this moment, right-now.

For all of our marriage, he was on the road with his company of more than 30 years. He never missed calling me morning and night, sending flowers from the road, sending cards through the mail to always make me feel important and loved. He would leave random cards and gifts in various areas of our home for me to find when he was away. He is always thinking ahead.

We have survived the worst of the worse and celebrated the best of the best. Some days we have not liked each other and there are days when we can't get enough of each other. We understand how to bring out the best in each other which helps to survive the days that may not be so great. Shared laughter is an important part of our relationship and seeing the the humor in catastrophes seems to pull us through.

We love road trips and vacations. We leave every chance we can get. New adventures bring out the child-side of us. Long walks in the evenings, ocean shores, deep sea fishing, and boating takes away the cares and concerns of our world. He loves to work in the yard, till the fields with his tractor, and feed the animals. He loves to watch me with our horses; helping at competition and cheering along the way. He is kind to our dogs and cats making sure that they are loved and cared for. I appreciate how he loves to be clean and organized like me. He puts up with my innate sense of coordination down to plates, silverware, and towels.

Today I am grateful for my husband .. Who knows what the tomorrow, next week, or next year will bring, but today I am grateful for one more day, one more smile, one more hug, one more kind word, and an evening where he will greet me and we will enjoy the moon and the stars together because ..

I ride the dark horse ..

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Saturday, February 11, 2017

Trust Yourself .. You Know More Than You Think You Do .. !!

"I know of nothing more valuable, when it comes to the all-important virtue of

authenticity, than simply being who you are .."

~ Charles Swindoll

What does it mean to be a person? How do we become the best version of ourselves? We first have to understand that every person is completely unique. Your exact history, experience and perspective, along with your interests, skills, physical makeup, are like no one else's. We, as human beings, are unique individuals and we must remain mindful of that fact as we live our lives. Your life is yours; mine life is mine, and so on for each each individual. I have enjoyed taking my sociology classes as it has given me a greater understanding of not only myself but those around me.

Another important aspect to remember is there is no set model or map of life for human beings. Our futures are not strictly determined by our biology, our history, our culture or other factors that become a part of our life at birth. We have options and, in most instances, the freedom to craft ourselves based on individual interests, skills and motivations.

In spite of these two truths, there are influences in life that make it difficult for us to act like individuals and to assume the personal responsibility necessary to freely develop our individuality. Sometimes we do not stop to think about the needs and desires of our individual selves, sometimes we do not have the courage to life out our lives in a certain way and sometimes the influence of others is just too strong to let our individuality shine through. We don't always act like the individuals we are. We don't always direct our lives as responsibly as we could. By not doing so, we don't really honor the completely unique life each of us has been given.

Authenticity does not mean that we shun all traditions, popular opinions, social customs or popular morality. It doesn't mean throwing everything associated with other people away even though we may feel like it. It also doesn't mean doing, believing, valuing and feeling the opposite of what is popular; when that misguided approach is taken, you're still taking your cues from what one does by simply doing the opposite. Authenticity means seeing the many possibilities before us and choosing which to pursue by communicating with ourselves. Often, there will be some overlap; you may find that some of the ideas that are popular around you truly resonate with you, or the career path others expect you to pursue is what you actually want for yourself. But until you go through the process of checking in with yourself, you don't know if that is so. Sometimes you will need to ask the advice of others as I have done and that is fine. The key is not to let others drown our your internal dialogue in the process. And I know this because ,,

I ride the dark horse ..