Journal Post 10 Joy in My Day

 

Joy comes in many ways! A snowflake, a puppy kiss, the sweet smell of our horses eating their hay, and my husband's kisses! The crunch of snow and bacon with breakfast.

I have seen too many dark days, yet I have also seen the goodness of God and His hand at work even in the worst circumstances. I can promise you; joy does come in the morning. I felt that when I was completing legal papers this morning. I have waited many years for this moment.

John Gill tells us: "alluding to the time when all nature is fresh and gay, when man rises cheerful from his rest, darkness removes, light breaks forth, and the sun rises and sheds its beams, and everything looks pleasant and delightful; moreover, the mercies of God are new every morning, which cause joy, and call for thankfulness; and especially it is a time of joy after weeping and darkness, when the sun of righteousness arises with healing in his wings; as it will be to perfection in the resurrection morn, when the dead in Christ will rise first, and be like to him, and reign with him for evermore." I look forward to this day for the TRUTHS of all will be presented to those who told lies. This will be another joy for me. One of my favorite books of the Bible is Psalms. Psalm 30 was written by David. In His commentary on the Bible, Matthew Henry writes, “This is a psalm of thanksgiving for the great deliverances which God had wrought for David, penned … upon his recovery from a dangerous fit of sickness, which might happen to be about the time of the dedication of his house.” I am soon to be delivered and the she-devil exposed as well as her "army".

The Psalm begins with David praising God and thanking Him for not allowing his enemies to rejoice over him. He also thanks God for healing him after he cried out to Him for help. He sings praises to God and encourages others to do the same. Then comes our key verse, “For His anger is but for a moment, His favor is for a lifetime; Weeping may last for the night, but a shout of joy comes in the morning" (Psalm 30:5, NASB). The word used here for joy is the Hebrew word Rinnah. It means “ringing cry of entreaty, supplication” or “ringing cry in proclamation, joy, praise.” Can you feel the tension in this word? It’s both a cry of prayer and a praise. It’s a powerful word, a powerful concept. It shows that joy is found not after pain, not after everything is made right but in the midst of it. The only way this is possible is because of the work of the Lord. He is the only one who can enter our pain and fill us with joy.

The word Rinnah is used 33 other times in the Bible. Let’s take a look at some of these verses and see what else Scripture has to say about joy. (The following verses are all in the New American Standard Version.)

“O clap your hands, all peoples; Shout to God with the voice of joy”. Psalm 47:1.

“And He brought forth His people with joy, His chosen ones with a joyful shout”, Psalm 105:43.

“Let them also offer sacrifices of thanksgiving. And tell of His works with joyful singing", Psalm 107:22.

“The sound of joyful shouting and salvation is in the tents of the righteous; The right hand of the LORD does valiantly”, Psalm 118:15.

“Then our mouth was filled with laughter and our tongue with joyful shouting; Then they said among the nations, ‘The LORD has done great things for them’” Psalm 126:2.

“Those who sow in tears shall reap with joyful shouting”, .

“And the ransomed of the LORD will return And come with joyful shouting to Zion, With everlasting joy upon their heads. They will find gladness and joy, And sorrow and sighing will flee away” Isaiah 35:10.

“Shout for joy, O heavens! And rejoice, O earth! Break forth into joyful shouting, O mountains! For the LORD has comforted His people And will have compassion on His afflicted” Isaiah 49:13.

“Shout for joy, O barren one, you who have borne no child; Break forth into joyful shouting and cry aloud, you who have not travailed; For the sons of the desolate one will be more numerous Than the sons of the married woman,’ says the LORD” Isaiah 54:1.

“For you will go out with joy And be led forth with peace; The mountains and the hills will break forth into shouts of joy before you, And all the trees of the field will clap their hands” Isaiah 55:12.

“The LORD your God is in your midst, A victorious warrior. He will exult over you with joy, He will be quiet in His love, He will rejoice over you with shouts of joy. Zephaniah 3:17.

I know it can feel impossible to experience joy in our worst circumstances. It can feel like a cruel joke, something we’re taunted with and fear we’ll never experience again. But joy is possible! So how can we experience joy in our worst circumstances? I think it’s important to know that happiness and joy are not the exact same thing. Happiness is a feeling based on pleasant circumstances, but I believe joy is something we can choose even in the midst of our worst circumstances. For years, I have lived the worst of the worst and slowly living and loving my best life making sure that my husband and I are secure, loving our time together, and loving my diplomas on the wall! My success has been silence, but it doesn't mean I have not noticed what was still going on behind my back. And the important persons in my life who assisted in making it happen.

Even Jesus chose joy in His worst circumstance. Hebrews 12:1-3 says, “Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.”

This is important: Jesus didn’t experience joy because of the pain of the cross or the shame heaped upon Him, but He did endure horrible circumstances for the joy that came out of it. He chose to walk in obedience to God because of the joy set before Him. The joy of reconciling man and God. The joy of conquering sin and death. The joy of the resurrection. The joy of making a way for us to be free and experience new life. He endured hostility so we will not grow weary and lose heart. We can experience joy in the midst of our worst circumstances because He is with us.

We look to Jesus. We abide in Him and simply ask Him to fill us with joy. Abiding with Jesus means spending time with Him. As we spend time with Him, we allow His truth and love to fill our weary hearts and fill us with joy.

In John 15, we read about what it means to abide. I love what Jesus says in John 15:9, 11: “Just as the Father has loved Me, I have also loved you; abide in My love…These things I have spoken to you so that My joy may be in you, and that your joy may be made full.”

Joy is found in Jesus. Joy is found in my husband. Joy is found in our home. Joy is found on our farm and livestock. Joy is found in my career. Joy is found in my college classes. It’s as simple and beautiful as that. We make things so complicated sometimes, I know I do. But when we cease our striving, we’ll find peace and joy in our Lord; even in the midst of our worst circumstances. When we are faithful, the Lord provides meaning in our trials and joy in our success.

Journal Post 9 Public Facade

 

I read the funniest statement ... It happened to come through on my LinkedIn profile that I was updating. I am sure everyone is aware that it is easy to see who has looked at your profile. Lo and BEHOLD, there she was! My woman stalker! I didn't see it at first; a friend that was with me did and she was laughing so hard, she could barely point it out to me! ... AND JOHNNY SAYS HELLO ... On a professional page! How tacky is that! Little does she know that my husband was investigating Johnny long before her delusional interference. I am sure she would be surprised on the outcome was of the investigation.

Some time ago, a woman who lives in her area mentioned how she posted everything about her lovers, how many she had, and how they still adored her! We laughed over supper! If she was so adored, why isn't she with anyone of them, living alone in shabby conditions! Where is her man that loves her so deeply that he would care for her, be a spiritual helpmate, and make her his wife! And there is word for a woman with many lovers! AND it has been documented that she would leave her ill husband for other men!

I am sure many couples can relate as to how difficult marriage and relationships can be. Throw a chronic illness in the mix, and they can be even harder. I love being married though! And there’s no one else I’d rather have by my side than my husband. I got really lucky when he asked me to marry him. But it’s been more than just luck that’s made our marriage work. Any marriage takes work and sacrifice, but a marriage in which one of the partners is chronically ill can take extra work. Statistics report that divorce rates for couples with a chronically ill spouse are as high as 75%. It’s given me a different perspective on life. We don’t have things as easy as some people might in their relationships. It’s made me more appreciative of the little things that we share together. It’s also made me a more compassionate person and has softened my heart. I didn’t use to be as understanding as I am now. So, in that way, it’s made me a better person.

That’s an eye-opening statistic. And I don’t share it to scare any of my chronically ill readers. I bring it up to remind those of us with a chronic illness that it’s something to be mindful of in our relationships. It makes communication in a relationship that much more important. My woman stalker left her husband in the middle of his illness and did not even know that he had passed away. No matter how much my husband is in pain, no matter how much he yells at me, I would always make sure that he has a beautiful home, comfortable bed with clean linens, pressed laundry, and good food. It is estimated that over 100 million Americans live with a chronic condition or chronic pain. And for every one of those people, there’s someone out there who loves them. My devotion is to him, to make him as comfortable as possible, and let him know that he is loved. This is something that the "Johnny's" cannot bring to the table!

Obviously, those that do, do! And those that can't, have many lovers! As for me, I can have a happy and healthy relationship even when my husband has a chronic illness. It is absolutely possible. My life and relationship may look different than others, but it can still be a good life and we have a very strong relationship. With good communication and lots of understanding, you can make the most of a relationship in which one partner has a chronic condition. This is called keeping the covenant of marriage through the good and the not so good!

 During this pandemic, I’ve read many ridiculous articles about how resilience means “bouncing through” our obstacles as though riding out a pandemic is life on a trampoline. These 'Band-Aids' of advice do nothing to encourage people to look for the deep healing they will need if they truly want to be resilient.

To say we bounce back from adversity implies we 'ping back and forth' until we return to the person we were before. But once we find ourselves on solid ground after experiencing a crisis, we know that we are different. We have been through something significant; we’ve seen battle and have survived. We have the scars to prove it.

We don’t bounce back; we move through. For me, and in my situation, moving through is the best I can do at times. Resilience is the ability to adapt to our circumstances. When creatures adapt to their environment, it’s because they can leave something behind as well as learn something new. In short, they change. We’ve seen a lot of adversity over the past few years, and it has begun to beat us down. It’s no secret that we are becoming less psychologically resilient. We are facing a growing mental health problem. Stress levels are through the roof; rates of anxiety and depression are at all-time highs. I feel it in our home with Thom's health issues and my lack of rest. Each year, I need increased strength to plow through. While this may sound grim, it’s also important to remember that studies show a significant number of people have found ways to thrive and grow during hard times. These people found ways to become stronger because of a crisis, not despite it. People can change how they see themselves when they explore feelings about life and find significance in relationships. This is called post-traumatic growth. Resilience is not something that’s handed down at birth, like a crown or a trust fund. Psychologists have learned that resilience can be cultivated and grown, no matter your age, and it often thrives in the middle of a crisis. It’s something that is uniquely earned through courage and hard work.

1. Build a strong social network!

A recent study on the stress of COVID-19 suggests that, when people are going through a crisis, many begin to wonder if life has lost some of its meaning. But, with social support, many experience markers of post-traumatic growth; a sense that they have helped others.

Other research suggests that it is critical to stay close to people who will support and encourage you. You need strong connections with others because when life knocks you on your butt, because if it’s not COVID-19, it will be something else and you will need an emotional safety net of people who can share the burden with you. How to make it work for you: If life is great now, this is the time to build important relationships with HONEST friends. Because good times never last, and a strong social network reminds you that you’re not alone, that everyone struggles. When you talk out your fears and concerns, you’ll find that people who appear to exude the outward appearance of confidence and success often have the same fears and concerns that you do.

2. Rise to the higher cause!

Selfish people who pursue hedonistic goals are the first to fall apart when a crisis hits because their lives are not tethered to anything of value. Maturity implies that we’ve discovered what we value, that we’ve developed an appreciation for the "why" behind the choices we make in life.

“He who has a ‘why’ to live can bear almost any ‘how’” ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

Adulthood means we understand what it means to rise to a higher cause. Mark Manson says, “When we’re focused on ourselves in a crisis, we become overwhelmed, and we panic. When we’re focused on others, we rise above our fear and act.” In other words, we’ve finally realized that we are not our own God. A study by the World Health Organization has found that religion, personal beliefs and spirituality can give people a sense of purpose and value. Trauma can take us deeper into the spiritual world, and in turn, spirituality has been found to produce post-traumatic growth. Similarly, research with Army National Guard Special Forces used the Headington Institute Resilience Inventory. They discovered that people who responded with statements like “My life is enriched by my spiritual beliefs” produced biomarkers that counter the effects of stress and trauma. This research was complemented by a study of biological processes linking religiosity or spirituality to health, with the authors finding that meditation also enhanced biomarkers that would lead a Special Forces member to have an increased level of physiological and psychological resilience. How to make it work for you: Take the time to develop spiritual, physical, and social support. Do it now. Don’t wait for trauma, setbacks or adversity to show up before you start. BUT be honest in dealings with others in what you say and do; if you are going to talk the talk, be sure to walk the talk!

3. Control negative thoughts!

I watched as my friend's cranky horse stretched out his neck, bared his teeth and bit down on her left breast so hard that she had to have a mastectomy. But she was resilient; she knew while she couldn't control everything that came her way, but she could control her response to it. She came to my aid when I was struggling with my illness because she knew what I would be going through and helped me to accept with perseverance and resilience. And those changes are important. When we gain control over our negative thoughts, they no longer have power. One of the most common reactions to a negative event is to ask, "Why me?" While this is a logical question to ask, it gets us nowhere. Nip that sorry-ass response as soon as it rears its ugly head. People who feel sorry for themselves tend to catastrophize their situation as if they are the only ones who have been dealt a bad hand. It’s very fashionable right now to be a victim because we’ve become so coddled and spoiled that even the slightest inconvenience is enough to make us cry and dissolve into a pity puddle. Everything becomes a catastrophe, and we believe we should be compensated for our grievances if life is not easy. Like lemmings led into the sea, we’ve been lulled into believing that we are not responsible for the outcomes of our behavior. Instead, others should be held responsible. Immaturity has become a big problem in our society, but here’s the truth: If we control our thoughts, we control our behavior and, in turn, control the outcome. This, in sum, is the definition of mental toughness. Resilience happens when we learn how to survive well when confronted with adversity. This produces psychological growth. How to make it work for you: If you’re a parent, don’t coddle your kids. Let them fend for themselves because you won’t always be there to “make it all better.” If you’ve already developed a mentality of victimhood, shift your attitude. In her book “What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Stronger,” Maxine Schnall compares the two mentalities this way (paraphrased):

A victim asks how long it will take to feel good — a survivor decides to feel good even if things are not so great.

A victim doesn't move past the hurt — a survivor puts one foot in front of the other and moves on.

A victim wallows in self-pity; a survivor comforts others who have experienced the same trauma.

A victim is jealous of someone else’s success; a survivor is inspired by it.

A victim focuses on the pain of loss; a survivor remembers the joys in life.

A victim seeks retribution; a survivor seeks redemption.

And most of all, a victim argues with life; a survivor embraces it.

4. Take mental breaks!

It’s not always possible to take vacations in the middle of a crisis, so do the next best thing; take a mental break from your situation. When I’m stressed, I pull out my paints and find a large canvas. For me, the bigger the canvas, the more healing I feel. We are all different. Some retreat into movies or books, while others spend more time in physical exercise. None of these 'Band-Aids' will cure your situation, but they can help you from feeling overwhelmed by it. Then you can be more resilient when faced with adversity. There are other benefits from giving your brain time off during a crisis. The brain is normally protected from the inflammation caused by stress, but under constant stress, the barrier breaks down. Inflammatory proteins can leak into the learning and memory regions of the brain (hippocampus). Resilience becomes much harder because this inflammation can adversely affect brain systems that lead to motivation and mental agility. How to make it work for you: Regular exercise increases neurogenesis, the production of new brain cells, in the hippocampus. This will not only improve your brain health, but it will also improve your mood. Learn something new because it can lead to a cognitive reserve, a secret brain stash that helps to keep neural networks resilient. This can counter the negative effects of stress. Practice mindfulness because this allows you to take notice of and be curious about the world around you. Give your brain a break by spending time with someone or something that gives you peace and comfort.